**The Omni-Man Challenge, A Step-by-Step Guide:**

 To preform the Omni-Man challenge you are going to need two simple things.

 1. A son

2. A method of beating the everlasting shit out of said son

 **How to acquire these materials:**

 1. To obtain a son, simply \[REDACTED\]

2. A good method of beating the everlasting fuck out of your son can be done in a few ways. The most straightforward and traditional method is of course getting superpowers. However, for the average person, this is simply not possible. An ordinary belt or set of brass knuckles will do.

 **The Challenge:**

 After letting your son ripen for around 2 decades, reveal to him that you are partaking in the OMNI-MAN challenge and begin beating the everlasting fuck out of him. He might resist, but simply continue beating him until he stops speaking. Please note that the current world record is held by one Christopher Simmons. An official record of this run can be found on [speedrun.com](https://speedrun.com) here: [https://www.fox13memphis.com/rss-snd/man-arrested-beating-son-over-virtual-learning-police-say/NPO2BADFYJGAVHWEZ4G5XWUSYE/](https://www.fox13memphis.com/rss-snd/man-arrested-beating-son-over-virtual-learning-police-say/NPO2BADFYJGAVHWEZ4G5XWUSYE/)