If you came to me and said, “Hey, I want to put you in charge of an island of some morally questionable scientists. The goal is to push the boundaries of science in every direction and there may be some….involuntary human testing….but on people that deserve it; can you do that?”

I can do that tomorrow. No prep work. I can navigate those waters.

“Hey, can you put together a 30 year plan; logistically to build a secret army hell bent on eradicating evil muppets from the earth?”

No sweat.

Run into an apartment full of smoke? I have. Run towards gunfire? I have. Run towards numerous traffic accidents? I have. Physically prevent people from doing bad things? I have. Gotten bloody doing it? I have.

Woman: “Here’s my number, call me”

Might as well be asking me to do quantum physics (i haven’t). I just don’t get, and have never understood the fucking phone courting shit. Two days? Exactly 46 hours and 27 minutes? And why am I calling? To set up a date? We’re here now…I mean….the fuck?

It pains me to realize there’s all these things that I’ve done…that I do without any fanfare or because I’m a sheepdog…it’s just the way I am (ever find yourself running towards something other people are running away from and asking yourself ‘the fuck are you doing?’)…but this one simple thing, that every fuckball, douchebag, assgasket on the planet can do…I’m confounded and ya know what….kinda paralyzed by it. Even in my 40s. I just don’t understand this thing…it’s kinda like a joke that everyone else gets but you.

And it plagues me. I can do higher level shit. My EQ is sufficient dammit, but there’s things about dating that I just don’t fucking get. Even tried learning them….make no fucking sense to me.

I can rule the world. But I can’t figure out the appropriate timing to make a phone call. And the whole “gotta chase em, make em feel like you worked for it”….naw baby naw. I flat out can fucking not. And it’s so intrinsic to most people…I don’t get how they get it.

I can master just about anything that can be relayed in lay terms in a short span of time if I put the time and energy to it…but never this.

Drag me