Tonight, I’ve decieded to be a Writer.

My friend killed himself today. I’m sure all of you know the reason why, Sadly.
My friend killed himself today, So I’ve decieded to do something with my life.
We were hostelmates, Even though we weren’t that close we’d wave to each other every time we passed by those long empty hallways.
Now, that will no longer happen.
I think I’ve only ever had one long proper conversation with him, we discussed Tarantino. He told me that his favourite film of his was Inglorious Basterds and I argued with him that Django was better. I know it was a stupid arguement because I know that Art is subjective and each person has each taste yada yada yada, but now.
That conversation holds a lot more meaning to me than it used to.
I, Outta bowhere splurged onto him that I wanted to be a writer, filmmaker, usually I only open up my love of passion of movies to people I hold very close but something about that conversation, I had felt closer to him than most relationships i’ve had my entire pointless life.
I expected him to say what all the rest of the people told me, Get a degree, get a job, even still you want to follow this pointless dream then, then do it when. Stupid fucking idiots, the lot of them.
But not he, I think you’ll be able to take a pretty fair guess what he said to me considering the fact that you are reading this.

My father screamed at me through the phone, like clockwork routine. It has gotten to the point where the day feels ill without his terrible seething angry fouls. my father may or may not love me. I do not know trhat. But if he does, he does not show that.
But today, something in the air felt different, something in the air felt lost.

My friend was a beautiful person full of life and joy, he got marks the kind of which I can only dream of and Still……. STILL
It is then that I realised that I’m on borrowed time, if he did it then, i must’ve done it when. SO I must keep living before dying, I must suffer for meaning, I must live for 2.
I have to write. Tell stories and tales.
i was never a one for Jee and now, The world told me Plainly.
If you’re still reading this, Why? what kept you to keep on reading?|
it must be his beautiful spirit.
I am an athiest, But I pray there is an afterlife. So I can say to him all the things I wish to tell him now.

I know I must tell you that results don’t matter and other Bullshit but, If it truly didn’t then you would not have been reading this. Wouldn’t you?

Thank you for reading this flow of crap but I just couldn’t put this thoughts out of its misey so I put it onto you.
So I will write, I will speak tales and tell stories as long as my brain knows where My balls are.

I Will Write and Keep Writing
I love You all
Fuck NTA and Good NIght