Be me 20yo zoomer bloomer coomer stoner. Love ordering chipotle online. Idea. Order biggest burrito possible its amazing. Take the biggest shit of my life. The next morning do it again, and again, and again. Start naming the order ‘Mr Pooper’ in hope the chipotle staff notices. They do one time. I’m waiting for them to bring it out, they put it on the shelf a guy walks in, checks the shelf looks at me and i can tell he’s grinning under his mask. Grab the order and walk out like a true man. The next week i realize i can ask for extra beans and rice in the order do it name this one “Ultimate Pooper”. I drive to the chipotle the burrito girl looks at me when i walk in. She knows. I know she knows. She knows i know she knows she looks down, I grab my burrito, I walk out I love doing this every week, it makes me wonder if she looks at me and imagines me shitting my brains out the next morning. I can feel the testosterone coursing through my veins every time I look at myself in the mirror. “Mr Pooper,” I say to myself. “I am Mr Pooper”