They say a picture is worth a thousand words. For me, it was more like a gut punch. And those punches just kept coming, every time I saw someone use that picture to defend Andrew Cuomo. You see, I recognized that face because it’s one I’ve made far too many times in my life. It’s the face I made at 16, right before I was sexually assaulted. It’s the face I made at 21, right before I was raped. It’s the face I made each and every time a man invaded my space (literally or figuratively), and I was trying to make it stop without making him mad or attracting too much attention.
So many people are quick to decide how a woman should respond to unwanted attention. Most of the time, the required response involves making a scene of some sort. And I’m sure there are women who are able to do just that. But fight and flight aren’t the only options when it comes to feeling threatened. Instead, some of us just freeze. Just picture a deer stuck in headlights, suddenly unsure of what to do, forgetting every other option at their disposal. Are we wrong in our response? Is our trauma any less real because we couldn’t fight?
I wish I never had to see that face again. But if that’s not possible, then my wish is that others would learn to recognize that face, and all of the fear and discomfort it tries to mask.