So my mum and biological dad divorced when I was about 4, so I don’t really remember him. Then my mum had some boyfriends for a few years, but they were fleeting and I never really met them.

She finally got serious with a new guy when I was about 15. This new guy was pretty great. I’d never had any kind of father figure or anything, but he was a top bloke. Properly took me under his wing, and treated me like his actual son despite barely knowing me really.

My mum has never been very well off, and we always struggled so when he said we could move into his house, she soon took him up on the offer and we moved in. My room was bigger than it was in our old flat, and he had a proper house with a garden and stuff. So I was hyped.

It was all good, apart from one small factor.

He had a 15 year old daughter that lived with him every other week, and she was an absolute smoke show.

She was a smoke show, and I was an incredibly horny 15 year old boy. And we’d been forced together, under the same roof.

At first it was kinda awkward, because she didn’t really like me and my mums incursion into her life. But then we started to get on more, and became more friendly. Obviously us having spent most of our lives alone, rather than with each other, meant we didn’t feel like brother and sister. And we weren’t really. That’s certainly how I justify it now, at least.

Anyway, we got comfortable enough that eventually there was some kinda flirting going on. I think it was just innocent stuff really, at least on her side of things. And I knew it couldn’t really be anything more, because her dad was just so nice, and my mum loved him so much that I couldn’t risk ruining shit by making a move on his daughter that might be received badly. It’s not exactly something you can step back from, right? It’d go down like a lead balloon. But, as it turns out.. I didn’t have to make move.

So there always used to be like 2 hours from when school ended, to when our parents would get home.

So one day I get home, and walk into the kitchen, and there she is.. Stuck in the washing machine.

The rest, as they say, is history.