theodore is getting the best head because Alvin probably gets mad pussy daily and since he’s a showoff he was probably over exaggerating. Simon probably masturbates to everything so his nut isn’t as nice but Theodore probably doesn’t even know what sex is he just saw his brothers sitting on the couch getting there cocks sucked and thought “oh okay” and joined them then Eleanor just came up and said “lemme suck your dick yo” and Theodore was confused but said yes and he just fucking had the greatest feeling ever. Eleanor probably sucks a lot of dick so she’s good at that and since it’s his first time he probably had an extremely great feeling. Theodore is getting the best head and you can’t convince me otherwise.