Rusty: [wakes after bucket of ice-cold water is dumped over his head tied to a chair]: Ah!
Deadpool: Wakey wakey bitch, you don’t get to sleep through this part.
Rusty: What!? W-who are you?
Deadpool: The guy you’re going to hate just as vehemently as everyone in this comment section hates you right now.
Rusty: What are you talking about. [Deadpool silences him with a finger to his mouth]
Deadpool: Shh shh shh shh, all in good time my little ginger rat, all in good time. [walks over to a bag full to bursting and starts rummaging around pulling out random devices of torture]
Rusty: [scared into cold silence]
Deadpool: You kinda threw me for a loop Rusty, all the while you were asleep I was trying to think of some horrifically life altering torture to make sure you never forgot just how badly you done goofed but I was stuck. I mean betraying your supposed friend over a chick is already a serious bro code violation kiddo, but when you went and got his sister’s girlfriend involved it wasn’t just crossing the line it was tapdancing over it and then setting it on fire.
Rusty: [Any retort in his own defense or accusing Lincoln of breaking their pact, tenuous though the excuse would have been, died in his throat as Rusty saw Deadpool pull what he recognized as ‘the Pear out of the bag and place it with all the other instruments of torture on the ground]
Deadpool: At first I was thinking about just setting your pants on fire, since it’ll most likely scar you for life in addition to being both simple to do and fittingly symbolic. But my buddy Bob, great guy he’s a REAL friend unlike some people I’m starring directly at, recently told me now his kid is kinda on a bit of a SAW Movie kick and it got me thinking how any one of those Jigsaw traps would be a glorious kind of overkill.
Rusty: [Shaking while breaking out in a cold sweat]
Deadpool: But then it dawned on me the most fitting way to punish you, ah here it is [Pulls out a glowing purple stone] The Continuity Stone. And before any of you Continuity Whores say “The Continuity Stone isn’t cannon”, this is the comment section of a comic on Deviant Art of course it isn’t cannon!
Rusty: [Finally finding his voice albeit very quiet] W-w-what are you going to do to me?
Deadpool: l’m going to do the worst possible thing I can, give you a life like mine
Rusty: .. What?
Deadpool: Your life will be just like my own, no matter how much you’ll want to you won’t be able to die because of one of the most bullshit healing factors in all of fiction and because the antics you get up to will make you a fan favorite meaning you’ll be rebooted and revamped time and time again perpetuating your cycle of misery. And of course you’ll be one of the few individuals in fiction that is aware that all of your suffering and your friends/loved one’s suffering is orchestrated by beings who want to watch it for their amusement and that there is not a goddamn thing you can do about it.
Rusty: That’s your life?!
Deadpool: Yep, and it’s about to become yours kid, have fun. [A purple energy wave spreads out in all directions changing Rusty’s life forever]