Yeah, a 10/10 shitpost about nutting of any substance. Teenagers these days are so limited in their activities. Back in my day, we used to live the good life. My boys and I would beat up some geekos, play a few rounds of football, and screw our girlfriends so hard they’d start orgasming in languages that didn’t exist. Those were truly fulfilling times, and something that teens just don’t experience nowadays, thanks to this evil internet.

I try to encourage a return to the good ol’ days: Whenever I see some kid with their head stuck in their phone, I snatch it from them, throw it on the ground, and stomp on it until it’s in multiple pieces. I then say “you’re welcome” because I know I’ve done something useful to improve their lives.