We should send buckets to Africa.

Africa has some regions that are good. We’re not talking about those, we’re talking about the ones that have mass murder happen on a regular basis. Those places are filled with rebel groups, corrupt governments, and terror organizations. We have tried many times to fix this issue, to save these people or make it easier on them. But the answer is so much easier: buckets.

Ok look, I know some of you aren’t taking this seriously but I’m being serious buckets would make their lives better. Not those shitty toy buckets for sand or the fucking wooden buckets either, but the kind of bucket that would be used to carry tools in, or leftover drywall mud buckets, either way they’re tough and can do many good and amazing things ranging from carrying some food in to beating someone half to death.

For starters, the obvious transportation that costs no resources. Cars need gas and bikes aren’t practical but a bucket in hand can lead to travel without expense. Transport drinking water, food, resources of any kind so long as it’s not a car or your sins.

It’s also good for catching things. A basic trap for vermins and pests, rain water, the baby if you need a minute. The point is that by simply setting up a bucket in a certain way, with certain things, in a certain place, it will do shit on it’s own. Automation at its finest. Put a bucket with water in it as to attract creatures destined to be shot in the face. Keep the cattle and other things which thirst in place with a bucket of whatever the fuck. Put it on someones head and watch them wander into their death.

It’s also good for hiding shit. Fuckwads come to ransack you village for the girls? Buckets must dude. Have a hole for them ahead of time and put the bucket on top with other buckets scattered around. Make them think you have a bucket fetish, and you’ll get the keep the innocent children so long as they don’t ask to pee mid-interrogation. Also like food and stuff too. Make the place a bucket heaven and use it to keep secrets untold, riches no mortal man can ever, EVER comprehend. Also hide your porn because that’s nice.

Also it can be used in combat. Besides stabbing your killamajiger, it’s also good to stand on to get a bit of height over a wall or a car or something you can’t see over without a buckets worth of elevation. You could also hide a bomb in my so that’s cool. Plus if armour is something you lack then the bucket is better then nothing and can be used as helmets, only to put it in a stick to see if it’s safe to come out. Covering up retreat routes is also nice. Maybe even make a hiding place out of them. Plus buckets of sand in the eyes is good at making the enemy regret having eyes.

Long story short, send buckets to Africa…god knows they need them.