Im 13 so here

Heres my story

 But i have something to add that happend while writing this well a bit before like a few mins So ill explain what happend today. I was at my home i got scared that i was a pedo and my mom and my 10 year old cousin and her mom came in the car for me to go to my aunt or whatever it is and i got a boner when i thought about my 10 year olds cousins butt and if i thought about fucking her and shit like that (i test myself if get a boner) and then i was at my aunt and they were there too and i got a boner again when i thought about my 10 year old cousin and her bottoms and stuff like that to see if i get a boner and she walked by and i looked at her butt 7 times to see if i get a boner and i got a boner and then a few mins later i thought about her again to see if i get a boner and i got a boner and she walked by again and i looked at her butt 7 times and i got a boner and the last time before going away i thought about her and i got a boner and she walked by and i looked at her butt 7 times and i got a boner and im in the car while writing this in samsung notes and i still have the boner and it just seemed to calm down for a second and i got it again also while i was going out of the house i got the thought of fucking her in mouth and having sex or smth and i got a boner and now i got a boner again beacuse of writing this what the hell is wrong with me i want to stop these thoughts i dont want the boner i for some reason get the urge to masturbate and i get the urge to fuck her sometimes (i got a boner while writing this what the fuck) and i feel like im aroused when i dont want these thoughts please help im 13 i dont want this i dont want to be a pedo please help help help Also when i masturbate i feel like i cant cum and then i think of my 10 year old cousin to see if i cum and it feels like its easier to cum like i stop jerking off when i almost cum and i continue after like 5 seconds or a little more and i cum wtf is wrong with me and i got a boner again now fucks sake please help i dont want these thoughts i dont like it i dont find kids hot fuck this fuck my life fuck everything i feel awful i dont want this i cant think normally i want to stop this i feel like im lying to myself help please am i a pedo

And i feel like it takes more time for me to get a boner to adults now help