When I was only 3 years old, my mother told me that I shouldn’t play with wires, lest I be shocked. She never did explain to me what being shocked meant, and what it felt like, and I was always left wondering. When I was 8, I learned from my teacher that metal conducted electricity. I could no longer quench my thirst for knowledge. I stole one of my sister’s sewing needles and stuck it in the TV outlet, and I instantly felt a pulse along my arm. It was not painful, it did not burn. In a way, it was interesting, even a tad pleasant.

When I was 11, my best friend told me that if you rubbed your penis, you would feel really really good after a minute. And he was right. Now I wondered though–what if I could feel the pulse of electricity at the same time? So I took two needles, laced them around each other, one on my penis and the other in the outlet, and felt like I never had before. I did this every few hours, every day.

My mom thought I had a problem. She replaced our silverware with plastic. She made my sister stop sewing. I was given “counseling” from a therapist who was wrong in every way. But I needed that feeling, it was just so appealing. There was nothing wrong with me! He therapist reccomended that my family go on a vacation where I could get away from my ‘problem.’

It was the first night out camping, no metal in sight, no electricity either. Then I realized that my brother had packed a portable camping light. It was hot, but it shone just as any other would. What my family didn’t know is that I had snuck a sewing needle into my hair for the trip.

I took the needle out and jabbed at the lamp. Just gently poking the needle with my fingers, I felt hot and tingly. This would be better than anything else. I caressed the lamp, took it into my arms, and held it above my groin. It throttled down the shaft and up the head, going deep into my core. I could not help but both laugh and cry. I was in heaven. I had discovered what lamps could really do.


Well, there’s more. I made a fair bit of noise doing all that. My mom came storming into my tent, and I was a mess. I was still coming off of pure ecstasy, so in truth I was not embarrassed. I was really sore, and it still tingled, so even with my mom in the room and pants still down I couldn’t help but giggle. She was furious, and grabbed the lamp, careful to avoid my cum.

She told my dad too, who beat the living shit out of me. I broke down in tears, how could the worst pain follow my perfect heaven? We went back to my therapist’s office immediately. My therapist wasn’t happy either. I can’t remember what he said, but he was very dissapointed. When we got home, my dad locked me in my room for what felt like weeks.

There was a light in my room, but my parents shut off electricity to my room. I felt empty, and cold. Still, there was a lamp right there, if only I could turn it on. Of course, I knew everything about electricity. I had embraced it as my friend, and I knew all of her secrets. It wasn’t long before I was thinking of a way to return. I scoured my entire room, but found little more than loose pocket change and lint. I no longer had any of my electronics.

I waited a long time, I can’t even tell you when, but I told my parents through the door that I was thirsty. I cried and cried, begged them for something other than stale water to drink. I knew that we only ever had three things in this house beside water, and I wasn’t about to be given my dad’s vodka. They would not give me a real drink though, only an old lemon, which smelled already of the beginnings of decay.

My stomach gurgled, vibrating almost enough to be arousing in itself, had I been more awake. I fell asleep, and woke barely better than I had before. I had even caught a cold. Mucus drained from my noise as my illness got worse, but I didn’t care. In my ill stupor, I began to daydream, for what felt nearly as long as my entire life. I had it. I had it!!

I pried an old nail out of my door, and jammed it into the lemon. I took a penny from my old search and jammed that into the other end of the lemon. I rested the base of my penis on the tip of the nail, and made the penny my pedestal. I was the wire, and the lemon was the lamp. I once again felt it coursing through me, reassuring me that I would be alright no matter what the punishment. My prostate groaned almost as loud as my stomach, and I could not stand. I let the current run through me, tensing my thighs and clenching my anus. I exploded all over, from the door, to every wall, to my nose. My fluids formed a frothy mixture of white and yellow over my neck and breast. If lamps were heaven, then lemons were God himself.

No no, it’s fine. That time I was quieter about it, so my parents didn’t catch me. After resting for a few minutes in a post-bliss daze I cleaned up the cum and mucus, using an old shirt to wipe it up. The shirt was ruined, so I stuffed it in the back of* my closet. I disposed of it only a few months ago when I visited my parents’ house for Easter. I didn’t want my baby brother to find it.

As much as I liked the electricity, I came to be disgusted with the lemon when it started to seep a brownish fluid, which smelled strongly of mildew. I put that behind the closet as well, though I took the penny out, having been frugal my whole life. I don’t remember what I spent it on though.

My parents let me out of my room after a week or so, though I had been allowed out for short bits of time earlier to use the toilet and shower (they were very tough, but I wouldn’t call them abusive). The atmosphere was still quiet when I got out, my sister would never talk to me and my dad wouldn’t even make eye contact. I don’t think they ever saw me the same way again.

Still, I graduated highschool with a decent GPA and started college the year before last. I can’t say that I’ve done anything quite so crazy with electricity as during my experimentation in middle and highschool. I’m majoring in Electrical Engineering right now. I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do with that degree, but I’m heavily leaning towards designing more efficient electronics. While I respect the coal and oil industries for all of the benefits they have given us, they won’t last forever, and the more efficient our devices are, the smoother the green transition will be.

I’m still a bit of an outcast at family outings, but it’s been a lot better this year. I think my parents are starting to view me as being more mature now. A bit ironic though, electricity certainly hasn’t lost its appeal to me, either as a career path or as a form of personal entertainment. I’ve gotten a lot safer about it now though. I wear electrical gloves and use EMS-devices designed for medical usage, rather than trying to tame the spirit of a broken lamp or makeshift rotting-lemon galvanic cell. I guess that makes any stories I have a lot less interesting, but with any luck it should at least increase my life expectancy.