Fluttershy’s tears are also good Unobtainium for powering our universe, since her tears approach a near 100% entropy-free energy efficiency compared to oil and uranium, and also act like safer and more reliable versions of ADAM stem cells, combined with a superior evolution of the innate antimicrobial properties already found in tears. Said evolutionary properties of her ocular fluids are speculated to be the reason for how she can protect her extremely vulnerable Tareme Eyes from infection obtained from everyday contact with her biohazardous wild environment. Every anime girl also possesses a limited extent of this trait, but Tareme-eyed Moe girls exhibit its complete evolutionary expression, hence their, well, extremely expressive perpetually-puppy-dog-like Tareme eyes. This is the secret behind Fluttershy’s ability to cure kind of animal despite her lack of a medical degree or sufficient equipment in her household, which in normal circumstances should be an unsanitary and dangerous biohazard due to the abundance of non-vaccinated wild animals combined with lack of proper sanitary procedures.
Hypothesized to be the reason why Equestria has little pandemics of deadly diseases, such as the infamous Ebola Virus which should have been transmitted through the non-vaccinated wild animals Fluttershy takes care of. Also speculated to be able to cause limited antidepressant pheromone effects to non-intelligent lower animals as well, which can be weaponized in the form of her Stare which pacifies any animal. I’m also hypothesizing that if Ebola or an alien plague (e.g. unpacifiable parasitic Xenomorphs, Zerg infestation, Hate Plague, any disease that results in Zombie Apocalypse, Ebola, etc) invaded Equestria and Fluttershy wasn’t there to pacify and cure the infected, then even the alicorns Twilight and Celestia would have never saw the megadeaths coming before it’s too late for their magic to fix the devastation wrought by the pandemic, similar to the Aztecs’ lack of immunity to European xeno diseases. (Also, without Fluttershy’s tears to provide immunity and pacification, they would have never been able to resist said Zerg Rush, considering that unlike Fluttershy, Twilight and Celestia prefer to fight directly with their Psychic Powers which the Zerg Swarm will simply find delicious, which means that they will be infested into the pony equivalent of Kerrigan. No, the Elements of Harmony aka the Orbital Friendship Cannon will not help to repel the aggressive and limitless xenomorph swarm, and the psychic emissions caused by the Elements will just attract even worse intergalactic Tyranids. Ergo, only using the pacifying pheromones in Fluttershy’s tears will subdue the Swarm of these animals).
But why don’t we humans and other inhabitants of alternate universes have perfect health in the Future? Because, this unobtainium is mostly consumed by Incubators, who necessitate a constant supply of Moe in order to obtain fuel to decelerate the accumulating Entropic decay of themselves and the cosmos as a whole, and creators of True Art Is Angsty (including but not limited to: authors of Tragedy e.g. Gen Urobuchi, depressing Classical Music composers e.g. Ludwig van Beethoven, Blues musicians, Emos, and anybody who likes Neon Genesis Evangelion), whose Angst put them in an eternal state of exponentially accelerated entropy, rendering their immune systems extremely vulnerable (Truth in Television: depression and stress compromises the immune system, both directly and indirectly) and therefore forcing them to consume these tears forever, hence the continuous rarity. note
Production of sufficient quantities of Fluttershy tears was difficult at first and was the primary limiting factor in Blues production, which is why the popularity of Justin Bieber is plunging our universe closer to The End of the World as We Know It, but up until recently, eventually we hit on the idea of cloning her several thousand times and collecting the tears with a specialised catheter that fits under her eyes, along with Pinkamena Diane Pie and everybody else in the Torture Technician list and sexual offence registry hired to torture Fluttershy forever, along with a million clones of Angel Bunny, and a large blender. Administration of a Class A Amnesiac after every third or fourth session (similar to Procedure 110-Montauk) is also recommended for prevention of desensitization and cynicism from the familiarity with the procedure, which prevents optimum tears extraction. Personnel who express sympathy towards Fluttershy’s plight and/or express a desire to rescue or sympathize towards Fluttershy WILL be met with immediate Lethal Termination for accelerating the entropy of this universe. No, putting the poor girl out of her misery is NOT an option. Neither is rendering her unconscious, comatose, or any form of pain relief, narcotic or analgesic to herself. She has to be completely sensitive and aware of what is going on in order for the extraction to work. And when all that does not work, we read fanfic to her.
But you only need five clones of Madoka Kaname to do the work of over 9000 Fluttershy clones with very little provocation, and her tears produce only one-eighth the emissions! There’s a reason why Incubators switched from normal Moe girls such as Fluttershy to harness the goddess Madoka instead! note
I am utterly, utterly nauseated by the above: you can’t get supernatural blues-playing talent drinking Bourbon with Fluttershy and Madoka Kaname tears! The very idea is Abhorrent! You drink them in a cocktail with Gin, Vodka or another clear sprit! No wonder you don’t get invited to Smokey Wilson’s annual Smurf-murder party! Madoka Kaname tears with Bourbon PFFT! Perhaps you’d like a brown paper bottle to drink them out of whist you’re at it?
Don’t Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer? Hey, has anybody seen Fluttershy and Chuck Norris at the same place at the same time?