Step One:
Write “how to”.
People are insecure and will buy anything they think will change them.
Step 2:
Find something people want to change. Pick something believable, but something people can’t actually change about themselves, but always wanted to. Make sure you can bullshit about this topic later. I.e. “How to not give a fuck”
And boom! You have your book title.
Step 3:
Time to bullshit. You need to fill 200 pages of nonsense that people will think has changed they’re life, but actually hasn’t. Fill the space with fake anecdotes, advice and sciencey words to make it sound convincing.
Step 5:
Make a simplistic book cover, preferably just a rough texture colour with the title typewritten on top of it. It is VERY IMPORTANT that your name is larger than anything else. This will make people think you are important, giving the book more credibility.
Step 6:
Now for the hard part.
Seduce a publisher into printing your piece of crap. If you look like me, it’s best to pay someone else to do it for you.
Step 7:
Become rich of your pile of shit, going on talk shows, book signings, premiers, all because you can give some realistic sounding advice.

Step 4:
Proofread your work.