I fucking hate R3-S6. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. R3-S6 is a piece of shit. A damn gold astromech got picked over actual R2-D2 and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise R3-S6 is already parked there in his stupid little fucking Eta-2 Actis Class Interceptor. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to fucking god, I’m going to kill myself and take that goddamn astromech to hell with me. R3-S6 has ruined my family. Last summer, I approached the miserable astro in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The fucking droid gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the beeping garbage-bin fuck didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of shit, and i fucked your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the black and gold devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, R3. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.