i wonder if jersey mike’s subs didn’t actually block anyone and then screen capped this because it would be shared and its like a “you guys!’ kinda thing but also a **”haha you guys, please buy our sandwiches.”** Jersey Mike’s is basically blowing you whenever you read this, and when **’memes’ that are just corporate did funny thing, you are blowing them but also asking them “….so what are we?…” right after they cum in your mouth.**

most of the time there isn’t even that many, or even instances of people being hired to do it. kinda like all the corporate twitters.

Like that time the SAW twiter posted that buff sexy Jigsaw and said “sorry our intern doesn’t know how to delete tweets,” so it got the most retweets of anything they ever posted. And shame on them the newest Jigsaw movie was ass. **I mean… they’ve all been ass since 1, but like MAJOR ASS. Like, holy shit, let Tobin Bell go home. His back is literally shattered from carrying this franchise.**

It’s like a commercial except instead of skipping it to grab your nerf gun and shoot your brother in the eye while waiting for Invader Zim to come back on, **YOU ARE PART OF THE COMMERCIAL!**

I mean, we really think all these “It’s about family…” memes came outta nowhere? Give me a break.

Well, there is one that walks the walk and talks the talk.

well, except Tony the Tiger. The furries just straight up ravaged him on every Tweet. There was so much art of Tony having sex with their fursonas (a fursona is like the game Persona except somehow less cringe btw).

Even to this day if you look at some of his tweets saying “**THE OLYMPICS ARE COMING UP! LET’S DO GREEEAAATTT!!!”**

The comments are just a storm of **”daddi toni please mount me and pull my tail uwwuuu,” or “dadddyyy tonniii i bought only the normal flakes!!! if only we had some frosting…..” or “tony please blast your hot milk all over me i want daddy tonys milkies.”**

You know why we don’t see that shit posted around social media with the corporate twitter going **”oooohh nooo! stop we hate these midly sexual response nooo! stop retweeting us, we hate it lhaha i mean noooo stooppp!!!!”**

Tony the Tiger wakes up every day and looks at the noose hanging from his window. He needs to pound fives bowls of frosted flakes just to tell the noose **”not today…” The flakes are frosted with ketamine btw. Seriously though, Tony the Tiger logs on to twitter just for a barrage of sexual harassment and no one is helping him. The police say speciesist shit like “women/men can’t rape tigers. They are too strong. Kitty up, you probably enjoyed it anyway.”**

Horrible. Even to this day it is an unending onslaught. It is a true authentic exchange. Meanwhile Wendy’s tweets at Burger King “hahaha your fries are so yeet!” and Burger King tweets back “well at least I am not a square… like your beef!” and then someone random like fucking xbox that wants to release a master chief frosty or some dumb shit that is just there to mock the absurdity of the world says

**”now, now guys… lets focus on the real enemy, Playstation!” and then Playstation says their typical line of “The Rape of Nanking Never Happened, don’t @ me.” Which is really weird, but makes sense for Sony.**

**But we aren’t talking about Sony, bozo. We are talking about Tony… he’s hurting.**

He tries to black it out. He tries to keep moving forward. He just ignores them or asks them to stop. They never do. They never will. He is now the designated Breakfast daddy. They will obsess over him until he is torn limb from limb. **He would destroy all of them if Furries didn’t regenerate like some fucked up horny and furry Majin Buu.**

**Now THAT is an authentic corporate twitter experience. Tony the Tiger just lives in constant agony, and the overlords at Keloggs force him to do the same song and dance as oddly wealthy men in fur suits jerk off to him.** That is a true corporate to consumer relationship that is authentic.

This is the silver lining to late game capitalism. Well, and the ocean is currently on fire. The ocean has dolphins in it. Dolphins are rapists. So we may burn some rapist-flippers to death. I’ll take it.

**Kill the rapist dolphins. Save the buff breakfast obsessed tigers.**