I want to bang Pikachu so goddamn bad. I can’t stand it anymore. Every time I go to Pokedex entry 25, I get a massive erection. I’ve seen literally every rule 34 post there is of Pikachu online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Pikachu. I’m sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should’ve been busted inside of Pikachu’s tight anal cavity. I want Pikachu to have my disgusting mutant human/mouse babies.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the mice at Petco. I’d colored them yellow and black, and went to fucking town. She hasn’t said a word to me in 10 hours and I’m worried she’s gonna put me in the electric chair. I might not ever get to see Pikachu again.