I like the Amber Alert System, and here’s why!

Because it rustles the jimmies of all the pussies.
All the respectable, logical adults get woke up, see the Alert, see that it’s not near them, don’t care, roll over and go back to sleep.

All the pussy-assed whiny bitches get on Reddit and just FUCKING CRY.

Every second of seeing these sort of people in even the slightest bit of emotional discomfort brings me great joy. Every parroted shout of “SLEEP DEPRIVATION CAUSES CAR ACCIDENTS” just gets me so hard.

I used to get a little upset about the Amber Alert waking me up but I’d have usually forgotten about it by morning but now I’ve found a way to turn it into a great source of catharsis by coming on here and shitting on anyone not mentally stable enough to get past this tiny indiscretion in their lives. Just fucking trashing anyone so privileged that they believe five minutes of their sleep is so important that it dignifies such a reaction. Absolutely dehumanizing any special little dimwit that thinks this will effect their life in any way and that deserves extreme actions!
It’s such a freeing experience. I love it. Fuck you all!

Thank you Amber Alert system for giving me an opportunity to laugh at everyone that I’m better than.