lately, there’s been a lot of fuss about someone claiming balls have tastebuds. They said that our genitals can sense sweetness. i saved you the shame.

in the name of science, i poured myself a cup of water and added two cubes of sugar. i stirred with the might of god, and unzipped my pants.
my skinny dip was shortlived. expectations were not met. i shoved my balls into the sweet, sugery water with hope, but my boys came out disappointed. not a taste. the only feeling was the cool water rushing and wirling against my two, hairy beasts.

here i sit, with shame and—worse—wet balls, writing to save my fellow men the utter humiliation curiousness leads too.
my hypotesis was wrong, but even if i just dipped my testicles in sugerified water, i did it for science. i did it for the betterment of humanity. you may laugh, but i will always smile, even past my grave, about how much i helped. i did my part. i can die, no longer restless, but in peace.

tl;dr: i shoved my balls in sugar water

(originally posted to r/teenagers by u/oh——-yeah)