It must’ve started around the age of 15ish idk. I started watching ecchi anime and I suppose it went from there. I found it hot. I’ve never liked the video’s really but I began collecting hentai pictures and this went on for a while. At some point I got fairly into tentacle hentai… I know unconventional. However about 5 months ago for some reason (I was stoned) I was sending pictures of I’d saved on my phone to my PC via discord and accidentally sent like 20ish pictures to a friend of mine. Shit spiralled from there.

She has been really good about it tbh, she says she hasn’t and won’t tell anyone. That doesn’t put my mind entirely at ease but it’s better than nothing. We’ve had a dialogue and she hasn’t shown any judgement luckily. Weirdly enough I was more or less fine for all those months following I even continued to jack off to it but now I can’t stop thinking about it, not even for an hour.

I should also mention I live in Melbourne and have been confined to my house for the past 7 weeks because of Covid-19 which is likely a reason I’m so anxious about it. But the real issue now is that I feel like a freak, I’m ashamed, I feel unclean. I want all this hentai shit behind me especially the tentacle stuff. I felt guilty for a little while because a lot of the tentacle stuff really gets unclear about whether or not she’s into it. I think I’ve mainly got past this because I’m fairly sure I’m not into rape. Especially not on someone else. So I deleted my stash of all my porn, it’s a fucking addiction and that’s something I realised. I was jacking off everyday usually a mix of both hentai and normal porn. Normal porn is enough to satisfy me so hopefully I can curb the hentai entirely in time but for now I just want the tentacles gone. I’m seeking out counselling, luckily the government provides 6 free sessions, hopefully something good can come of it. I feel so alone, is there hope?