My so-called ‘mother’ was just a plant by the CIA to hide the fact that I was created inside of a highly experimental super-soldier laboratory where they put tracking devices inside my testicles so that they could collect me on my 44th birthday and perform an autopsy to determine if the experiments were successful. Little does Uncle Sam know that I’m two steps ahead and I had my testicles removed by my Pappy on my 43rd birthday! Take that, Feds!