“Cum, more specifically sperm, is the future of renewable energy! Now you may think I’m crazy, but hear me out for a second. Upon ejaculation, a male releases 15 to 200 million sperm cells. According to-“

You turn off the old commercial. The origin of the new system. It had already been implemented by the time you were born, sadly. Only your father and those before him got to see a time where cum was not government mandated.

Your son, F2-Y8, is also having his 13th birthday party soon. You sigh, knowing that will be the day he becomes of age. You check the mail, and see a familiar logo: the symbol for recycling, except the three arrows are three sperm cells. It is a letter from the Department of Cum Extraction, notifying you that another daily load of cum is now expected from your household. Failure to produce said daily load within 3 days of your son’s birthday will result in a cum tax. Your family can’t afford another cum tax. You hesitantly head to your son’s room and explain what his fate will be until he can no longer produce cum. You show him the location of the ol’ household sperm tube and how to use it. He seems embarrassed and confused at first, but you know that one day he will get used to it. One day.