Farmer Joe is the type of farmer who always keeps two car batteries charged in his truck with some clamps and welding rods, plus a plug kit. He owns 75 Mosin Nagants, each and every one of them is in a different polymer stock, and all his SKS’s have had the bayonet cut off with a hack saw, because “it messes with barrel harmonics”.

Farmer Joe once cleared a clogged drain tile by crawling up it from the culvert to the blockage and manually clearing it, then held his breath as he was flushed out.

Farmer Joe prides himself with never NOT having a cigar in his mouth, the white interiors of his combines and tractors are all dark brown, and once he accidentally got doused in Roundup just to protect his cigar from being put out.

Farmer Joe once jumped a Deere 9960 over a ditch because his “damn commie red drivin neighor called him a pussy!” and he had to go beat the shit out of him.