Man, I’ve been sucking shit from a tin can, looking out the window and reminiscing to the good old times while blowing farts out my nose. I’m also constantly smearing my creamy goopy shit on my walls to stave off the wild boars that circle around my house. Me and Paw go out in the woods to hunt them, it’s like Gilgamesh and Enkidu in the Cedar Forest but with less prostitutes. One time I saw one of those fuckers kill and eat an entire cow! A cow! No way in hell I’m letting them eat me. Have you seen their tusks? Razor sharp. And a shit eating grin too. They look like they come straight from an Yogi-laced hypermanic episode on steroids. Have you ever been put on steroids? They put me on em for my acne when I was a little squirt but I heard they made your dick smaller, so I stopped taking them. My mom got really mad when she found out and made me pay her back. And that’s how I found out I had an Oedipus complex, because the way she reprimanded me was so erotic. I was her little pay piggy. Nothing came of that and I still think about it every now and again. Anyways, what were you saying?