Candace: Mom, look, don’t roll your eyes at me

Mom, look, just come over and see

Mom, look, it shouldn’t be so hard

Mom, look, they built it in the backyard

Candace: Once they made it winter in June

Linda: I didn’t see it.

Candace: built a rocket to the moon

Linda: I didn’t see it!

Candace: Mom, they caused me so much pain!
Linda: Now, Candace…

Candace: Once they even gave me Perry’s brain!

Linda: Oh, for crying out loud!

Candace: They built a submarine, a time machine, a haunted house that made me scream, drove cattle through the mall, built a giant bowling ball, blew me up to fifty feet, a chariot dragged me down the street

(Candace stops to catch her breath)

Background Singers: La la la la la la la

Candace: Made their stupid clothes a fashion craze, shoelace tips a household phrase, shot me through a circus tent, always asked where Perry went, a lava flow destroyed my face, a giant roller derby race, thawed a caveman out of ice, built a roller coaster twice!