I wrote this on a girls’ Facebook post:


my favorite conversations are the ones i have with my dad in the shower. we have amish showers together. wanna know what amish showers are. it’s where we shower together and he scrubs my neck while we’re on a horse. just ever so gently. with a sponge. it’s a very enlightening experience if you think about it. moving while the day is going by, cars are going by. you just stop and think for awhile. what is life? why are we here? why did my peanut butter and jelly sandwich taste funny this morning? very deep introspective thoughts like that are what drove humans to innovate, to invent — to survive. if no one were to think, then we wouldn’t have those nice jars of peanut butter and jelly that are mixed together in a big swirl. or we wouldn’t have sliced bread prepackaged that you can buy for two dollars and ninety nine cents at your local supermarket near you. want to know why we have sliced bread? because knives were invented. if we were not to have knives, then what would we have? just spoons. we use spoons to eat ice cream, ever wonder about that? i do. why a spoon. why not a fork, or a knife. or even better, a spoon-fork. one of those. those would be neat to have. neat things like that in life are what keep us humans going. neat things like how you can go to hostetters in mount joy and watch them mix a certain paint color for you. not too dark — but not too light. just the perfect mix of that caramely color or that creamy peanut butter brown that you’ve been wanting to paint your garage with. ever wonder about that? about why humans love colors. if i were blind, i wouldn’t know about them. i wouldn’t have cared about how my room is a very light sky blue color, or about how most people wear black clothes nowadays. or about how the sky is blue, but yet sometimes its an offset blue, never a true blue. ever wonder about that? about how the sky is said to be blue, but yet its never truly blue. its only a light blue, or a dark blue, or a very bright navy color. never true-blue. want to know what rhymes with true blue? tru-moo. that’s right. everyone loves tru-moo for it’s crisp chocolatey flavor, or it’s no artificial growth hormones used in its cows, or the lack of high fructose corn syrup, all compact in a very very recyclable plastic container all coming from our local trusted dairy. want to know what can be trusted? not humans. humans do terrible things. like dumping toxic waste into the oceans, or by killing innocent children in rwanda for their lack of agreement with their political statement or political views. why do we do this? why does this happen? it’s like buying pre-ripped jeans. preparing for the inevitable, a rip. want to know what’s going to rip one day? your pants. you might as well buy them pre-ripped so that you don’t rip them in the future. and that is why you should take amish showers.