So the other day, I was horny as fuck. Naturally, bein from Alabama, my first instinct is to pay my sister a little visit. So I’m makin my way to her room and I hear this moanin. I walk in and there she is, masturbatin with a carrot! I got pissed off because I was plannin on eatin that but now it’s gonna taste like carrots. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it was Donald Trump! Now I was beyond pissed. I grabbed my gun, yelled make ‘Merica great again!, and unloaded bout ten rounds into him. My sister told me that was the manliest thang she’d ever seen. And then I got laid. Would you believe it?