>Be me

>24

>Insanely poor

>Can’t keep a job

>One of my friends says I can live with him

>I jump at the opportunity because poor af

>I start out sleeping on the couch

>Back starts getting sore from the uncomfortable position

>Friend only has one bed

>Ask him no homo if I can sleep in his bed

>”Sure, Anon. No homo.”

>My back feels great sleeping in a real bed again

>Everything goes pretty well for a while

>One day I walk in on my friend fapping to gay porn

>He says no homo

>I laugh it off

>One day I find his dildo

>He tells me it is his mom’s

>I laugh and play it off

>One day I catch him jizzing into our milk

>No homo he says

>That jizz milk tasted great /b/

>One day he starts grinding on me while we’re in bed

>He whispers no homo into my ear

>I laugh and spoon him back no homo

>One day he says we should start a family no homo

>I agree no homo

>We go to China a pick out a kid from the child store

>Beautiful baby boy no homo

>Friend kisses me on the lips because he’s so happy

>Just assume that he forgets to say no homo

>We hold hands the entire plane ride home no homo

>We get married so our son has a family but it’s still no homo

>One night my husband and I are making love no homo

>The balls touch

>He doesn’t say no homo

>That’s when I realized I’m married to a faggot