I’ve got a story to tell about this video. So there I was; down on my luck, believing I was the lowest scum to have ever walked the face of the earth. I believed I was a burden to everyone, and everyone was just pretending to like me because they pitied me. I truly thought I was a piece of shit.

So there I was, home after a long day of dealing with the bullshit of others. I logged onto reddit (honestly just to jack off so I could have one minuscule shot of dopamine), when suddenly, I came across this video. I watched it. Initially, I thought nothing of it, but as I sat there, dick in hand, eyes full of trap hentai, something clicked. Look at yourself, I thought. ever since you moved out of your parents’ house, you’ve accomplished nothing. Zilch. Zero. Do you really want to spend your life like this? I realized that I needed to change for the better.

So, I did. I told my boss to eat a bag of dicks, I used my savings (which I had amassed over the years after subsisting on Arizona Tea and Ramen, and spending nothing much on anything) to send myself to college, where I got my master’s degree in business and finances. I applied to work at a small company, where I was rapidly promoted until I was eventually given the position of CEO after the previous one retired at the age of 72. Then, I really went to work. I forged new connections, I talked around, I diversified our inventory. By time I retired at the age of 43, the company was on the S&P 500, and we were making billions in profits a year. I arrived to a company of bricks, and left it a company of marble.

I guess my point in all of this is to say “thank you.” Without this video holding a proverbial mirror to my face, I would have never turned my life around, and for this post, I am forever grateful. Thank you.