At the start of the year me and my wife had been having many issues over me spending too much money on chicken tenders and other various chungus related items. Last night I did something I do not regret, we were arguing about my spending habits and she grabbed my pickle rick plushie. Now everyone here knows, you do not grab a man’s pickle rick plushie. She proceeded to call it dumb and a waste of money and ripped it apart. I grabbed her by the hair and bashed her head into my round belly, fracturing her nose and giving her a black eye. She yelled at me calling me a , “fat good for nothing piece of sh\*t.” She told me she’d be leaving and that in a week she’ll be back with divorce papers and taking all six kids with her. She said she would not be pressing charges after i told her many times the police would not believe that my tummy would cause any damage to her face. As of writing this she is at her mother’s house and me, I couldn’t care any less. Knowing all of you here have my back gives me more satisfaction than eating unlimited chicken tenders with creamy ketchup from KFC. Thank you all at [r/chungus](https://www.reddit.com/r/chungus/).