So the other day i was relaxing, sitting casually just eating my lunch, when suddenly this giant fat guy waddles up to me. He’s attempting direct eye contact but keeps looking away when he realizes I’m looking at him as well.

He rolls up next to me, breath stinking of sour cream and onion, and begins talking with me. Now, my mom didn’t raise an impolite girl, so i conversate back and try my hardest not to be bothered by his foul body odor.

Eventually, he pulls out his phone and asks if I’d be interested in seeing his vegetable garden. At this point I’m just confused, surely someone who could roll down a hill faster than a car wouldn’t be the biggest vegetable enthusiast, but no, he genuinely had a pretty nice little backyard garden, primarily he showed me pictures of his basil and tomatoes.

Suddenly though, he puts his phone in his pocket, shuffles on his feet, putting his fingers together and asks if I’d be interested in dating him. I hardly knew the guy, and he’s not my type at all, so i said “uh, sorry, no”

He then starts whining, describing in scary detail how he’s “tired of girls like me”, and rolls off.

Has anyone else had similar interactions with boys and their vegetable gardens?