I pooped while in bed next to my sleeping husband
Obviously, I’m going to be talking about poop. I apologize in advance for the bluntness 😅
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I had been SUPER constipated, and I ended up taking what, looking back I realize was way too many laxatives.
By bed nothing had happened, I figured it would be moving by morning. Oh, how right I was, but I really wish I hadn’t been….
About 3am I’m woken from a drug induced (ambien) sleep because my stomach is rumbling so much. I make it into the bathroom with seconds to spare, but alas, only a few rabbit turds came out.
I could FEEL a ginormous “plug” of shit inside me. I tried pushing it out to no avail. After about 20 minutes of worthless pushing, I decided to try to get back to sleep and deal with it in the morning.
I had been lying back down (on my side) for about 5 minutes. I felt like I had to fart. Not thinking twice about it since nothing had come out, I allowed myself to fart.
No fart, but a softball sized shit slipped out into my panties. I quietly got up, snuck downstairs, and threw them away directly in the trash cans outside. I was mortified and never told him to this day 🤣🤣🤣
No, there was nothing on the bed, or sheets. It was all contained in my underwear 🤷🏼♀️ Yes, I got a shower after disposing of giganta-turd.
I am 120% **CERTAIN** that my husband would find it one of the most hysterical things he’s ever heard. I still don’t want to out myself like that 😅
Hope you enjoyed the laugh!! 😁