Paulina Del Valle’s granddaughter (let’s call her Herminia for lack of a better name) had just been rejected by her picky mentor Don Juan for the second damn time. She had asked him, “Which of the four sentences in the passage proves your point that you can’t be my mentor?” And he replied, “All of them!” Ugh! In her despair, she thought to herself, “I’m never gonna be a good photographer in this country… I gotta move to America where Canidate A is taking the lead over Canidate B.” He promised the citizens Jazz Music, Blues Music, and a chance to become a world renowned photographer. She asked her grandma if she could fly to America and she replied, “(T – 1) / 3.” Herminia said, “wtf does that mean?” And her grandma replied that it was a substitute for “ok”. First she took the immigrant test, but only got an 80% cuz she was caught using her calculator on the English section. Herminia still passed and boarded the plane. When they were taking off, instead of the public transport voice asking the flight attendants to prepare for takeoff, it started rapping in a style from comedic to romantic, and griddy. The plane had a rough landing due to a shortage of oil that resulted from the “self-propagating and propulsive” oil cycle finally ending. She fell out of the plane at an angle of DAB but a mass of sponges protruding from the water cushioned her fall. But the sponges were actually rapidly killing each other and soon she was drowning. Then the hand of an angel reached down from a nearby rock and pulled her up faster than cortisol runs through the blood of a toadfish when it hears a pop instead of a whistle. It was the hand of the famous photographer, Julia Margaret Cameron. Their camera lenses locked and it was love at first sight. They both started boatwhistling at each other, but only at 50% volume due to the nearby dolphins. Then Herminia said, “Your like the stick man to my universe.” Cameron replied, “If I was asked to change something about you, I would choose NO CHANGE.” Cameron invited Herminia back to her house of 2.75 people and they made sweet love. After they were done, Herminia said, “I love you, Cameron! I can’t wait to emphasize blemishes in our photos together!” And they lived happily ever after— well at least until all the forests were destroyed by the modern, cutthroat lumberjacks.