I once disagreed with my buddy over a minor issue. So I smacked her in the face with my packer, then stuffed it back down my pants before anyone else in the room noticed. When she shouted, “EMILY, did you just HIT ME WITH YOUR DICK” I denied all knowledge of how that could have happened.

I later learned that gaslighting is wrong. But in this context, both of us found it hilarious, so no harm done. Part of my wedding present to her is going to be written confirmation that I did, indeed, smack her with my dick in a public space back when we were new friends.

TLDR- I am a monster, but somehow people still love me