I was a pizza delivery man in 2008

I was ending a shift, as usual, when a customer calls around 20 minutes before closing. This has happened before and usually I would just say the place is closed but it was also around the time I was hoping to get a raise and wanted to show my boss how devoted I was, so I did it. Anyways, around 10 minutes later the pie is done.


I get to driving and I noticed the address was in a part of town I guess you’d call the ‘hood’ or a ghetto. I always hated doing deliveries here but I didn’t mind much as it was late and I just wanted to get this over it. So anyways, I pull up to the house around after 5 minutes I would say of driving. I walk up to the house, and I have a strange vibes, so I’m thinking worse of worse it’s a drug den or something along those lines and as long as I was quick and didn’t ask any questions on what they were doing it’d be no worry. So I walk up to the home, I’m at the door steps, I then heard a cat screaming but it was muffled like as in it was unable to open it’s mouth. I then hear the words I’ll never forget “GET. IN. MY. ASS” a man inside screams on the top of his lungs, i then hear some more screams which sounded like pain from both the man and the cat, to just silence from the cat and only the grunting of the man (the windows are open somewhat btw). So I knock on the door, and well a guy in a robe who’s like 6’5 just looks down at me, I remember most of what he said

“Hello, this is [name of pizza place] with your [what he ordered but I believe it was mushroom]”

“I paid on the phone, so I just give a tip?”

“Yes”

“Alright, let me get my wallet”

He was in a rush as he didn’t even take the pizza and didn’t even close the door all the way. The wind blew it open. What I saw was a fat white guy, with a cat which I think was dead with its head in his asshole (the cat was dangling off of his asshole by his face in the mans anus). The man then noticed me and casually walks to another room where I can no longer see him. I don’t know why but I felt so unmoved when I saw this and my only thoughts of how their house smelt like shit and ass and how I wanted to just go home. So the guy comes with the tip after around 30 seconds of probably rummaging through piles of shit or something and hands it to me. We say our goodbyes and I’m off, and finally when I’m in the car it hits me that a guy in their house had a dead cat hanging out of his asshole and was probably waking around like that. I thought of calling the police, but I honestly didn’t know how to explain this to them so I never called. Sorry to the cats that probably had their lives lost to a mans smelly asshole.