Have you ever come across a once-in-a-lifetime beauty that you know you will never see again? Or, do you secretly follow her around but aren’t inhumane enough to publicly jerk off to her? You can’t just dig into your pants and whip out your virgin dong, can you? Well, thanks to the innovative power of PURE AMERICAN CAPITALISM™ there is a solution! Introducing the WANKER-WALKER 2000™, the only way to beat your meat with your feet!

It’s simple! Whenever you want to go out and about and need to blow off some steam, just attach the Wonder-Strap™ to your favorite foot and run the cord all the way up to your clitoris-crusher! When you finally come across the woman of your wet dreams, shake it up and down furiously. To an outside observer, you look really impatient or somewhat pissed off. But you aren’t just “Pissed” off are you? The motion of your foot can be carried all the way up to your masculine middle for the sweet release of secretive sexual pleasure!

Even better, the WANKER-WALKER 2000™ has a reusable Slimy-Semen-Sack™ that can keep your underwear squeaky-clean! If you really want it quick, it also can store lubricant inside of it!

For just three easy payments of 19.99 (plus shipping and handling) you can have your very own WANKER-WALKER 2000™ for everyday use! Order now and you can receive a second WANKER-WALKER 2000™ absolutely free, with a free instruction booklet. Get it now while supplies last!