Hi, you got a second? Okay.

You remember how we used to win games and hang out with Tatis, and wear swag chains, and slap some cheese and freak out about our starting pitching and do all the fun stuff and then one day I was like “Oh hey, guess what? Big news… I’m collapsing! This is Jake Arrieta, he’s your new starter.” and I got on a tank, and I left and we had no chance of making the playoffs for like a really long time. Can we just talk about that?

Great.

Because I realise that was kind of abrupt. Um, I just kinda got up and left good baseball behind in August, and that was really challenging by the way, but great because I got to use my mind and take a step at a time and now I literally am doing many of the non-baseball things I wanted to do in October.

And then look at you! And look at all you have done! And all you have accomplished in all that time. And it’s just… it’s just so amazing right? I mean, we started out with a 98% chance to make the postseason and now it’s what? Telling the Giants they’re a bad team that gets lucky and telling the Dodgers they won a Mickey Mouse hunk of metal after we threw a parade in the Wild Card series and DMing the Royals on Twitter to take back Eric Hosmer in exchange for an 10 inch Fathead of Patrick Mahomes and some of it has been kind of hard, you know?

I know you know.

And I wanted to tell you that I really couldn’t have done all of that without Tayce Jingler’s help. And in fact, all the help that he helped me with is still upholding unwritten rules today, right now, and that’s super cool.

I guess I just wanted to say that after all these years, I never forgot Padresing…ever. And I’m super glad we’re still an awful team. Thanks for listening.

The preseason champs banner looks great by the way. Whoever you trade the farm for, it’s working.