As the celebration commenced in Arlington, Dodgers manager Dave Roberts had one thing on his mind. Walking through the confetti and shoving off mobs of players swarming the field, Roberts strutted to the tunnel.

Opening the door to the locker room, Dave scanned the room like a T-800, searching for his next prey. There he saw Outfielder Chris Taylor, standing behind the locker room door, wearing his birthday suit. Silent as a Liquid Snake, Dave crept behind the vulnerable Taylor, eyes widening as he got an expanded view of that asscrack. A view comparable to seeing Tenet, starring John David Washington and directed by Christopher Nolan, in IMAX.

With a swift hand, Dave slapped the bare ass of Chris Taylor, who yelped in shock. Chris quickly spun around and, with a jaw dropped, said “Dave, not here!”

“Chris, we won the World Series. Every Dodger’s a little gay at the moment.” Without warning, Dave grabbed Chris chin and attacked him with a french kiss, as the two lovers embraced. Their two hearts danced together in a synced beat, and their tongues touched like how I touched the theater attendant on the hand when handing her my ticket to see Tenet, starring John David Washington and directed by Christopher Nolan, in IMAX.

Suddenly, the door swung open. The two homies witnessed the jaw drop from pitcher Justin May, who had just come to wash off after a hard day of pitching pilots. The green grass stained his clothes, while sweat dripped from his neck, quite like how I was feeling while watching Tenet, starring John David Washington and directed by Christopher Nolan, at the park.

Justin May slowly made his way to the two lovers, and without warning, dropped his pants. Then, out of nowhere, Jon Bois from the YT channel Secret Base walked into the locker room. He sat down on the bench where Justin, Dave and Chris started passionately earfucking each other and took a breath.

 …

 *”Today on Dorktown, we’ll be looking at the careers of all of the MLB players who have viewed Tenet, starring John David Washington and directed by Christopher Nolan, with IMAX footage provided by Tenet, which stars John David Washington and was directed by Christopher Nolan, fans, who shot this at my local AMC which had an 11:00 showing for Tenet, starring John David Washington and directed by Christopher Nolan, in that sweet section with the reclining seats.”*