I am done living in guilt and shame. Do any other white European women have a reverse colonisation fetish? I am aware this is not politically correct by any means but I have to live my truth, and my truth is that I am overcome with the lustful desire to be ravaged. On one occasion, I was having a conversation with a young Chinese male – average in appearance – who began berating the former British ownership of Hong Kong, as well as arguing that Taiwan was simply part of China. This whole conversation had started with a news article detailing a very arrogant and entitled tourist who was in Taiwan, and it became a total bashing session of white people. I became extremely aroused – aroused isn’t even the word. I was invigorated. I want to make it clear, this isn’t a racial fetish and I am not some kind of racist. I am attracted to racial minorities, mostly those of the former British colonies, yes, that is true. But what I really need is a racial and cultural nationalist – like Malcolm X. I would love nothing more than to be ravished by a black nationalist. Again, it’s not the race which does it for me. Your average black person, Asian, or Inuit isn’t my fantasy. I want to be sexually conquered by a racial minority in a way which is consensual – but dominating. I enjoy Buzzfeed India because a lot of their videos contain young, attractive Indian people criticising Britain’s racist colonisation of their country – and again –
I become unspeakably horny. This isn’t a r@pe fetish by any means, I’d like to clarify, but it does require dubious content and toxic displays of male violence and supremacy, but I believe the problematic aspect of that social dynamic is cancelled out by my being white. In need to be conquered so badly. I am extremely jealous of the women who would have lived with their (boring) white husbands in colonial India, China, of America. I feel I’ve been robbed of my chance for an authentic liaison – and I am a very petite woman. I really would not have been able to escape, say, if I were kidnapped (willingly). Oh lord have mercy….