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So I go to a small-ish high school, like 600 kids. I did nerdy shit: band, theatre, speech, and I swam too. Was well known and relatively liked. Anyways, in my senior year, I would rock up to school late to first hour English 102, PEPSI in hand. Teacher starts to notice, gives me detentions for it, I still do it. This continues for a few weeks, until…

The gas station I bought my pepsi’s from was having a sale. Apparently, the (now ex)manager had ordered WAY TOO MUCH PEPSI. Like, whole pallettes worth. It was taking up so much space in his tiny store that the owner put it on sale for $3 for a 24 PACK. I would have been a fool not to buy them.

I rock up to school carrying 3 24 packs. Whilst avoiding looks from our school cop and hall monitor, I unloaded those babies in my locker. Pepsi time. I grabbed handfuls of these beautiful blue bois and put them in my backpack. Again, I rock up to class, late. Same ole, same ole. My friend mentions being thirsty. Pepsi Time. I grab one out of my backpack and roll it over to him. As he looks at me with confusion, I say “Drink, my child.” People hear me say this. People see the pepsi. People see how much I have. I give people the pepsi. I am christened as the God of pepsi.

This happens several times over the next two weeks, me restocking the pepsi supply at the end of each week. Eventually the teacher starts to amp up the detentions to 2 and 3 every time I’m late. Or so she said. I believe it was cause of the opening cans. One day, she just tells me to go to the assistant principals office. The children are left without their pepsi. They are sad. The assistant principal basically tells me that the cans are distracting to class and that I can’t bring them in anymore. Sad emote. How will the children get their pepsi? Such a fool, they’ll get their pepsi anyways.

My place of work sells pepsi for like 1 dollar including employee discount. When I learn of this, I immediately buy about 6 of them. The next day, I leave all of my books at home. No need for them. It’s Pepsi Time. I rock up to school, late again, pepsi in backpack and solo cups in my hands. The teacher smiles her biggest smile and says good morning. She obviously knows about the pepsi. Fool. I keep eye contact and bring out the two liters. Her expression turns. I open one, and the crisp sound of fresh bepis floods my ears. The other kids cheer. The teacher tries to send me back to the assistant principals office, but I simply say “It’s not a can.” She still calls him down and I get 3 days suspension in school for “disobeying the rules” or whatever. I don’t care. My children have been given the water of life.

Aftermath.

I find out from some friends at lunch that they’ve posted pictures of my face over Pepsi-Man’s body. I am now Pepsi-man in the eyes of the school. Still hand out pepsi to everyone who asks for it. I am Pepsi-Man.

Edit: Tomorrow is my first day back after the suspension and I plan to bring more Pepsi for my children and I. Will post results. She cannot stop me. I am Pepsi-Man

Edit: Again, I rock up to school. Late as usual. It’s Pepsi Time boys.

Edit: Sweet Victory. Again, I rocked up late to school. Pepsi in hand. My children have their pepsi. The teacher calls the assistant principal and I’m sent down. I rock up to his office, and like Kendall Jenner I offer him a peace Pepsi. He declines, but instead says that I may bring the pepsi to the children before school without a problem. Joyous days. My children have their pepsi and I am still the Pepsi-Man.

Post Script: Thank you so much for the Silver and Golds! I’m glad to see so many who are wise in the ways of the Pepsi. Subreddit is [r/PepsiBless](https://www.reddit.com/r/PepsiBless) if you wanna spread the good word. Pepsi Bless.