hey there this is Danny Fresh with a fresh baby adoption tip for you do you wanna know how to receive a brand new steaming hot baby free of charge well sit down let me tell you step 1: go to your nearest supermarket and find a single mother who has a young baby in her shopping cart proceed to snatch the baby out of the shopping cart, at which point the mother will call the police on you but DON’T WORRY JUST STAY CALM walk outside slowly as the police cars come screeching up and just as all the cops start to run towards you you yell RED LIGHT the police officers will have no choice but to freeze where they are for fear of being called out of the game with the baby under your arm you grab a bike out of the bike rack and its not even against the law because if hitchhiking isn’t illegal then hitchbiking cant be either as you pull away the mother will come screaming out of the store at which point you will say to her, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit she will accept this and not pursue you any further with the baby under your arm you will bike back to your moderately priced summer home which retails for 552,629 US dollars shortly before arriving at your moderately priced summer home which retails for 552,629 US dollars another group of cops will pull up behind you, at which point you will take a sharp turn on your bike and yell at them, you break it you buy it with the officers unable to afford the cost of buying the squad cars they will have no choice but to avoid using the brakes and they will go careening off the side of the road once you arrive at your moderately priced summer home which retails for 552,629 US dollars with the baby under your arm you will find that your living room is full of police officers the chief of police approaches you and begins to tell you that you are under arrest but you cut him off just in time by saying, if anybody says the word arrest they are a wimpy loser the cops afraid of being regarded as wimpy losers by their peers have been rendered incapable of arresting you so they decide to just shoot you instead but you say, excuse me officers but those guns you’re holding look kind of like a couple of big wieners do you really want to be seen as a couple of police officers who go around holding a couple of big wieners all day this will cause the cops to suddenly drop their weapons and flee from your moderately priced summer home that retails for 552,629 US dollars and there you have it, you now have your very own steaming hot adopted baby