Step 1: You use the pregnancy test to determine pregnancy. If positive, proceed to step 2.

Step 2: You then bend the wire hanger so the hook part is at one end. You then jam the hook end up your pregnant friends vagina, swirling it around, just fucking mash it in there, like you’re churning butter. Just get that hook all up in there.

Step 3: Fish out the fetus. Sometimes you’ll feel a little tug, that’s the fetus fighting back. Give the hanger a good hard tug. That’ll hook the fetus. Once hooked, you can extract it.

Step 4: Smoothie time. Toss the fetus and juices into the blender, and turn it on. Throw in some bananas. It’ll be like a strawberry banana smoothie. Don’t even need protein powder.