Garfield Kart. A monument to all of our sins, the enlightenment to reverenced sacrifices, and above all else, the emblem of the Garfield’s holy image.


In the first ages of man, The legend says that Prometheus came from the skies above and gifted us the most valuable thing of all; fire. Nay, it was never fire. Fire came from our own devices, but the true valuable thing of all Prometheus gave us: Garfield Kart. Forged from Olympus above by Hephaestus himself, Garfield Kart was never meant for mankind. T’was for war, a war against the regions Hades controlled. With the war slowly brewing, Prometheus made the ultimate sacrifice to give mankind Garfield Kart. Eons passed after the execution of Hades. Without Garfield Kart to protect the gods from their undoing, Olympus eventually crumbles down to the Earthly soil.


The year is 1246. Europe is in shambles. A barren king sits in silence, as he observes the diseased town from above. A heavenly voice whispered to the king; “Seek Garfield Kart from the ashes of Olympus, gaze upon the stars upon midnight, and maybe you shall save this kingdom you call home.” The king calls for the ones who still had a glimmer of hope left in their hearts, and upon dawn, they set off, hoping to cure the kingdom. They arrived upon what was left of Olympus, and found the Garfield Kart Installation Disc. Jon Arbuckle, the closest friend to king, nay, the best man to king, betrayed him in the very moment he laid eyes upon Garfield Kart. Arbuckle slaughtered them all, and ran with Garfield Kart, wishing to be free of all his sins.


The holy relic was never to be seen again, until the raid on Osama Bin Laden’s compound. After the assassination of Osama Bin Laden, the U.S forces searched the entire building. They recovered many sacred artifacts, however, there was one thing that stood out in the vastness of antiquities; Garfield Kart. From there, historians have done an immense amount of research on Garfield Kart. As of November 13th, 2013, Odie the Dog, the lead historian for the Smithsonian, has made the judgement to release Garfield Kart to the public. As Odie the Dog stated, “We believe that in order to find the true origins of Garfield Kart and it’s true purpose of why it exists, the public should help with the investigation. Who knows? Maybe someone who is a great descendant from Jon Arbuckle has some substantial knowledge on Garfield Kart.”