I am a real gamer so I own all consoles from 1978 on. I have ascended gamerhood you mere mortals could only ever dream of and therefore can’t relate to your peasant feelings. Feelings are for women and dirty SJW snowflakes anyways

How did I achieve this great feat you ask? I threw my piss jugs at mommy until she broke down and bought them for me of course. My 14 day old bigboy juice is the ultimate weapon.

I am a gamer. Do not mess with me.