It’s lunchtime. You, a proud soldier in the Korean Worker’s Army, are stood to attention outside the presidential palace, beneath the hot Pyongyang sun.

At 1pm, she strides towards you. Her gait is dainty, graceful, yet precise. The street is silent save for the click-clack of her heels on the pavement.

The dear leader is approaching you now, and you become aware of everything. The sound of your breathing, the sweat sizzling on your brow and…

Oh lord

Oh sweet mercy

The building erection in your pants.

She’s almost reached you, and like the row of soldiers beside you, you raise your hand in a salute. A mechanical gesture that seems foolish, especially with the lust pulsing in your loins. She is in front of you now, and you can see every contour of her perfect face, and feel the power of her indomitable will.

She stops, and in a single, coquettish spin, she faces you. She pulls a face. You know the one.

OwO

What’s this?

The click-clack of her heels as she strides towards you edges you, as it has for the past 30 seconds. Closer and closer. The sweat is pouring off you. You’re panting like a dog. Wordlessly, she reaches down and grabs your erect penis in her hand – a delicate lotus masquerading as a bear trap.

She feigns shock, and looks you in the eyes as you coom. Trembling like a shitting dog, you let out a contorted “hnnnnnnnngh”, knowing full well that it is the last time you shall ever coom.

The last thing you see is the crumbs of bread in the corner of her perfect little mouth, as she gestures to the soldier next to you. A man you have known for years.

She is still smiling as he puts a bullet in your head for bringing shame on the division. You are still cooming as your brains decorate the pavement.

She wipes her hand on your lapel, and continues to walk.

Click-clack. Click-clack.