Really. Really? You come clawing your pathetic way back to me and you seriously want to apologize? After what you’ve done? Even worse, you try to give me something to make forgive you? I don’t know who the hell you think I am but I’m sure not taking anything from you. You know what you did, don’t try to act innocent. You really want me to spell it out you thick-skulled dolt? Wendy’s on Main Street, 2016. We were going to get some food. It was a sunny day and we were having the time of our lives. Everything was right in our little world. Then, once we were sat down, you showed me a video in your phone. SJW Cringe Compilation #3. I was entranced. When I got back home, I watched the previous two compilations, sucking in the delicious tears of snowflakes and liberals. It all seemed okay, back then. But I couldn’t stop watching them. I waited in anticipation for the release of each new video, even staying up late into the night, nearly starving myself in an attempt to not miss any new releases. I hadn’t gone outside in weeks, maybe months. Showers were few and far between, and only lasted 3 minutes at most. It all reached a climax when I found Ben. He owned the stupid feminists like no other man on Earth. I created a shrine to him, complete with a liberal tears mug and a picture of a crying, toothpaste haired woman. When I heard he was coming to debate in the state over, I immediately got in my car and started trying to drive. However, I was weak from my extended tenure inside the house, barely able to turn the wheel due to my frail limbs. Somehow, I still managed to get to the highway. But my triumph was short lived, as I was not able to turn the wheel fast enough to avoid the road barriers. I crashed, and had to be sent to rehabilitation. It was all because of you, and that god damned video you showed me in the Wendy’s all those years ago. Don’t think you’ll ever get forgiveness, I’ve already made up my mind. Now get out of my sight before I get the cops.