is this “it?” you keep wondering, but you keep working. keep waking up and already halfway through brewing coffee you realize you’re already kind of over the day

you’re dragging at work, the boss keeps asking if you’re feeling alright

reports keep getting handed in late and even though you feel like you gotta be working less and less you also have no time for your personal life

you start sleeping more

and before you know it you’re asking your neighbor how his barbecue was. you are sorry you had to miss it but you were out of town at your cousin’s to see his new kid. and then it hits you: none of that was bullshit

you’re looking into buying a minivan because you think you can help out with your family and friends who are raising kids

you found yourself typing “sensible investments for 2019” into google

a high school teacher you met at a road cleanup asks if you want to be assistant track coach

and slowly you realize, after months of giving back to the community and teaching yourself how to be a better cook and less selfish lover, that maybe this is… “it.”