Ugh, my father literally did this when i was younger. We were at a lake and he was in a canoe filming me climb across a fallen tree hanging over the water when a cougar came out of the bush. It scared me and I fell off the tree but grabbed onto a branch. So I’m ten feet in the air, beneath me is death by jagged rock and approaching is death by jagged teeth. What does my dad do? Keeps filming as I was screaming for help.

But he had a plan all along. I didn’t know why he was talking about some lady named Jenna Jameson while I was in mortal danger, but he wasnt actually filming, he was watching porn. I could see his massive dick getting bigger and bigger and he was stroking it real hard and eventually it reached up to where I was so I jumped on his 10 foot dick and slid down to safety. Hahaha…buh bye cougar! Best camping trip ever!