I know a guy who went to a local (kinda grungy) strip club, and while he was receiving a very….enthusiastic dance, he suddenly has this horrible pain in his eye. He pushes the girl away, goes to the bathroom and tries to wash out his eye, but the pain is getting worse, his eye is swelling, so he heads to the Emergency Room. Apparently while she was grinding her crotch against his face, a pubic louse jumped into this guy’s EYEBALL. Hearing him scream “What in the fucking hell do you mean I’ve got a fucking crotch cricket in my eye?!?!” in a thick french accent, all the way from the ER hallway is still one of the funniest moments of my life. Probably not so much for him.