Do you or someone you love have a fedora-wearing neighbor? If so, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! 

Fedoras are actually mind-controlling marine animals. When placed on the human head, tiny invisible tendrils enter the brain via the ear canals and turn the victim into a raging douchebag. 

The last time these creatures struck was during the 1950s, when their first victim, Frank Sinatra, made them a popular clothing item. We defeated them in the sixties and sent them back into the ocean, but global warming has caused them to emerge again. FEDORAS ARE NOT HATS! SPREAD THE WORD!!!