All My Cat Does is Follow Me Around Begging For More Lettuce

This fat little shit can’t get enough lettuce. It doesn’t matter if it’s crisp, soggy, fresh, or rotten he begs and begs for more.

More lettuce he mews at 8am

More he screeches at 12pm

MORE he yells at midnight.

This is the brokenist cat I’ve ever met. Wants nothing to do with meat. Just lettuce.

Let me tell you something, when the lettuce is placed before him, he goes crazy over it. He doesn’t look up from the lettuce at all. At times there are audible noises that I’ve never heard a cat make.

After the lettuce feast, he kneads at the carpet for a few minutes and proceeds to stink up my house with the nastiest lettuce shit on the planet.

I cant escape him. I’m thinking about returning him to the pound of which he originated with a warning – ADDICTED TO LETTUCE!