That comment is on 4/20/69 at 12:34:56.

I am literally throwing shit. Screaming at people. I am forcing people to come to my PC, reading the Urban Dictionary definition of “Chancla”, googling clips of Bloodsport, explaining to them the history of puns on Reddit, and then lit-er-all-y THROWING THINGS AT THEM and SCREAMING. I will never let this comment die. It was born on 4/20/69 at exactly 12:34:56.789, and it will carry on for all eternity, blessing every man and woman who finds it. I will devote my life to this. The eternal preservation and urgent proliferation of this perfect comment and associated Latino flip flop GIF is the Divine destiny with which I was charged when I emerged from my mother’s birthing hole.

Edit 1: I am now masturbating violently to the GIF and comment, focusing 30% of my attention on the GIF itself, 30% on the pun, 30% on Jean Claude Van Damme and 10% on some porn I’m watching on my phone. I will let you know when I cum.

Edit 2: Okay, guys. The cum situation here right now can best be described as nightmarish. I came so hard I temporarily lost vision in my left eye and I think I pulled a hamstring. I’m too tired to clean any of this up and my Mom is going to be home any minute. In my dozy post-coital clarity bubble, I’m thinking I might just say fuck it. Let her find me here, covered in enough jizz to impregnate a dozen Clydesdales, watching a loop of some Mexican lady throwing her sandal at a bottle of what looks like diarrhea. I’m a grown man.

Edit 3: Is life even worth it? We’re here on this giant rock that’s ripping through cold space ALL FUCKING ALONE. Sure, we have family and friends and prostitutes. We can talk and text and send singing telegrams and contest restraining orders. But no one can really know me. No one can actually see what life is like behind my eyes. No one can don my fleshy skin suit and walk around my neighborhood peeing into mailboxes and ding-dong-ditching the elderly like I do. What is the point of it all if we can’t fully connect and be totally known?

Edit 4: Mmmm… Getting hard again…

Edit 5: Godamsicle my mom came home just moments into my second fap, when my dick, still spotted with dried ejaculate, was still noodlish and was I trying to coax into stiffening with gentle, yet accelerating, pulls. No matter how nihilistic I become, and no matter how many bottle opening GIFs I see, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to masturbate in front of my mom again. Besides, I don’t have time now that I’m stanning this new Mexican diarrhea bottle opening GIF and pun combo into the Eternal Pantheon. When I signed up for this quest, “an hour ago” (according to this comment box), I knew what I was getting myself into. I’m in this. I’m in this. For that Mexican lady. For the pun guy. For all the Mexican ladies & pun guys making this cruel world habitable enough to endure, if only for several decades.


Source: https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c8mzoj/bottle_cap_challenge_latin_mom_style/esok246/