Ok, so nobody ever actually makes fun of my micropenis. But that’s because it’s my most closely guarded secret. But, this one time, I “accidentally” mis-gendered a trans-man. I told them “Excuse me miss, self-checkout #3 is open”. They turned around and said “Hey, fucker, my pronouns are he/him. I’d appreciate appreciate an apology.” But I knew they didn’t really mean that. What they meant was “I’m a trans man, and my penis is bigger than yours.” So, naturally I called the store manager, and told them to escort this “man” off the property because he exposed to everyone else in line that I have a micropenis, have since the *incident*, and they made me their bitch by making me apologize for using the wrong pronouns. And the worst fucking part, it I’m now banned from that CVS, and it’s the only one that sells condoms small enough for my micropenis. I don’t even know how all these people know I have a micropenis! I stuff my groin with socks, I’m absolutely shredded to the max, and I always have the deepest speaking voice of all the men around. I put in so much effort to make my micropenis a secret, yet it seems like everyone around me knows about it, and makes fun of me for it. My last girlfriend, who I fully banged every night, was smoking hot. She didn’t even know about my micropenis until I took my prosthetic one off, and even then, I made her cum over and over with my big meaty fingers. She had the nerve to break up with me in front of all my friends, after I bought her a brand new Ford F350 Super Duty, full with chromolly truck nuts and whale penis leather interior. It was our 3rd date, and while she may have said “This is too much, too fast. And, I’m a vegan” what she really meant was “this guy’s penis is so small. Idk why he even has friends, because he has a tiny micropenis and should be embarrassed because I never camed even once”. All my friends, even Jeremy, left me alone that night. And the worst part is, the truck dealership won’t let me return the truck OR the truck nuts. They must be laughing about my micropenis. They would let me return it if I had a bigger one. The next person to make fun of my micropenis is going to get a piece of my mind.